It's official, 1.5 hours and $5k later we have a tween with braces.
The process itself was simple. What wasn't simple was getting there. Got into the car and drove for about a minute before we realized we had a flat. Came home, had Jeff drive is, and had to get picked back up. Total cost of the braces outing is now $5k plus the $200 for a new tire. Yay.